One day the president of a company calls in Dave, the vice-president. He says, "Dave, you have to lay off either Jack or Nicole." Dave says Jack has three kids and Nicole is his best worker, but the boss will hear none of it.

So the next day Dave sits waiting for Jack and Nicole to show up for work. Nicole gets there first, and Dave says, "Look, I have a problem. I either have to lay you or Jack off."

"Well, Dave," Nicole says, "You'd better jack off, because I have a headache."